entry from Beth 10/31/07

Its just past noon on Wednesday, Halloween. Tomorrow will be All Saints Day and I’m looking forward to the holiday. Everyone will be off of work and will head to the cemeteries with candles and I’m not sure what else.

We’ve been with the kids for fifteen days now. It has been a grueling marathon and I’m grateful that Tim and I have naturally complemented each other and grown closer through the challenges. He has totally stepped up. I thought I would be the enforcer and was in the beginning. Now he is the hammer. Mom sees when someone is about to crack or winding up for a fight or a meltdown. But dad has brought life to the meaning to ‘wait until your father comes home.’ I’m so impressed and thrilled. All the good attributes I knew he had are coming out. He was terribly nervous about the first four days. But he has just morphed into robo-Dad both fun and tough.

He was super supportive to me during the first few days, telling me how well I was doing and how impressed he was. Now I’m impressed with his super work.

The biggest challenge is language. There have been too many miscommunications to count that have probably ended up in someone crying. I thought I would be crying more, but the kids have had their share of breakdowns, because I’m sure this is terribly confusing to them. They have told our guide/translator/driver/supernanny Lech, that they would like a new family. The oldest remembers the difficulties with her mother. Emilia put it well that she didn’t (and couldn’t) be with her old family and she likes the idea of her new mommie and daddy. I think she and the boys like us, too. I don’t think we are too scary for three kids to consider as an alternative to the orphanage.

It doesn’t hurt that they have been away from school for the whole time and we have done a lot of fun things. Today we are at Fikoland, a great indoor playground. It has a huge climbing structure with tubes, slides, small punching bags, two ball pits and levels to scramble around on. This is incredibly fantastic because it is mostly drizzly and chilly today and there is only so much you can do in a hotel room to keep every body occupied. Tim has been chasing him around the play maze like a maniac – an incredible trooper.

We’ve colored at least half the pages in the coloring books we brought and the ones we bought here. Our main goal is to avoid fights and meltdowns – a seemingly never ending job during this phase.

I think we’re getting a bit of a rhythm down, probably not as regimented as the orphanage, but enough where we have a little continuity. It has been a little bit like that scene from I Love Lucy, where Lucy and Ethel are working in the candy factory. One activity is keeping them occupied and then on to the next.

In Wroclaw, we had many things outside our door; the central square – the Rynek, the movie theater playing Ratatouie, the mall three blocks away, the puppet theater, a historic painted Wroclaw Panorama of a battle between the Russians and the Poles in the 1800s, walking past many historic cathedrals, a few outdoor playgrounds and the live saver to beat all, the pool in hotel basement. I felt like I was being a little extravagant in wanting a hotel with a pool, but OMG it was a life saver. We didn’t have to leave the building and one of us could go down to the pool with the kids and the other could have some quiet time in the room, just a phone call away if reinforcements were needed.

Even before this journey, I’ve come to learn that I’m a slow processor of emotion. I know have very strong emotions. It might to take me a few weeks or months to conclude what I went through or felt about something. I think I usually put things in my head first, and try to come up with a solution. But eventually I realize I’ve been upset because I didn’t stick up for myself or speak up when I should have.


So for now I’m running on auto pilot trying accomplish the tasks for the day. I’m not sure when my heart will catch up with my head but it will. I’m just not sure when.

Wroclaw was a beautiful town and I would have loved to stroll around and do more shopping. But we have other fish to fry now. The kids weren’t really into the cathedrals and actually some of the religious statuary is kind of scary from a kids point of view. We did visit two while in Wroclaw which is pretty easy to do, because it is the seat of the bishop of the region. We went to church next door on 10 Oct, but it was pretty cold in the church. It was at the Cathedral of Mary Magadelene (she’s my favorite disciple) and it was about 50° F outside and inside. I sent the kids back to the room with Tim after about 10 minutes of the service and I stayed for about a half hour. I could see my breath when I sang the only words I knew - Alleluia. Everything else in Polish of course.

I’ve been able to get by on a few words in public, with pointing and hand gestures. Most of the cashiers know a little English or will get their co-worker who knows the most English. I would love to know more, but the level of conjugation is incredible – every word seems to have five variations depending on variables I can’t begin to absorb. Otherwise, I’d like to have been more prepared. I’ve sung in seven different languages which helps with pronunciation and deciphering words. I could get by in French, but this is a whole new ball game.