So we are closing in on the end of this first trip. We'll have been away for 26 days and are looking forward to being home.
Today we drove a few miles outside of Bialystok to the children's home where the kids have been living for two years. It seemed like a comfortable place, kind of out in the middle of now where. There were about 4 buildings. Emilia, Maciej and Michal live in the same building that seemed very similar the dorms like I had at Whitewater. Two beds in a room with two dressers and two wardrobes.
They were pretty happy to be in the place they called home. But earlier in the day, Emilia and Maciej were tipping their cards a little bit. They've been with us for three weeks and seem to think that having a mommie and daddy is a pretty good idea. So Emilia asked if she could stay with us instead of going to the orphanage. It was very sweet and could have made me crumble. But thankfully Lech, our guide/driver/translator/supernanny prepared us. He explained that Tim and I would be more upset than the kids. The kids would be going to the place they have called home and would be just fine.
I was trying to not to project how I would feel when we returned them to the children's home. I packed my pockets with tissue. But there were no tears. The kids were excited to show us their rooms and run around to check in on their friends. Of course, three weeks is a long time to hang out with two strangers and their siblings.
Tomorrow, Tim and I go to court. We were prepared this afternoon with Lech and our assigned lawyer. They went over questions we might be asked by the judge or anyone else concerned who will be at the hearing. We've had two interviews with the appointed psychologist so that helped us get used to being questioned and knowing what basics of what they are looking from us.
Last night we invited our court appointed interpreter Barbara, to our hotel room to chat with the kids about considering new names. Thanks to anyone who sent us responses. I guess it was the path of least resistance, but we remained pretty close to the kids original names. Emilia Elizabeth, Matthew Lukas and Michal Paul. Mom and Emilia talkied about Stella, but then Barbara help me show Emilia that she will be part of a lineage of women with names starting with E. My grandmothers were Elizabeth and Esther, my mother's name is Elaine, and I'm Elizabeth. So Emilia would be the forth generation in the E pattern.
We Anglicized Maciej to its form of Matthew to keep things easy. He mentioned Pavel or Paul last week, but said Lukas last night. So maybe he will be M. Lukas Wattleworth if he really prefers - we'll see. Michal will stay the same since the spelling will be easy in a US context. He suggested Mark a few days ago, but requested Paul last night.
So mom and dad are resting quietly in the room. I bought about 12 DVD movies that will play in both Polish and English. I accidently grabbed the English/Hugarian version of Spiderman! So we watched Shrek in English.
Did I mention it is really quiet in here.
This has been an unusual way to create a family. Of course, about 95% of the people we told about our intentions to adopt three kids said - 'WOW - instant family!' This trip is where we feel like this was the most true. We were without our standard resources and support network. We don't know the language though I think I've picked up about 20-30 words. Apparently I must say 'oh my goodness' a lot, because, Maciej was repeating that back to me like a myna bird. Another hurdle has been keeping the kids busy for the entire day in a hotel room and a town you are not familiar with.
There are a few things that will be worked on when we get home. The kids haven't been exposed to people of different cultures, abilities or colors. Poland is fairly homogeneous place like many European countries have been, but of course are changing in this interconnected world. So Green Bay will offer a few chances for 'teaching moments'. I'm thinking swim lessons at the YMCA will be a big hit with them. I can't believe how fast their swimming improved over the span of a week. I didn't want to force them learn anything, but I guess there are somethings that come naturally if you spend the time. The YMCA teachers will instruct on technique and will be easier when the can understand English instructions.
I'm thinking that Maciej/Matthew and Michal will probably get enrolled in Karate or another martial arts program. They have such strength and probably feel the need to physically defend themselves often. Martial arts might help channel that and show when it is appropriate to use your defenses. Emilia may be signed up for that, too.
Emilia and Maciej/Matthew are very artistic. Their drawings and coloring is very thoughtful and advanced. Art camp will be on the list. Otherwise first things first and school will be primary. We're grateful that we'll have ESL English as a Second Language (or it might be called another acronym now) in Denmark's school district.
We might travel back to Poland for our second trip to bring them home during the first or second week of December. We'll see if it makes sense for them to stay home from school until the second semester resumes. We'll just see how the kids do when we get home and how the school wants to place them. Then we move forward from there.
Most of the parents we've spoken to from our Polish adoptive connections said that they had more limited visits with their adoptive children. So we may be misunderstanding their stories, but I'm amazed we've manuevered this gauntlet. For newbie parents I'm pretty pleased. I've been tired, exhausted and at my wit's end countless times. Though I'm still happy with our plan to try to build our family this way. Tim was struggling during the first few days but gave me confidence with his support of me. But Tim has hit a stride - he's getting the hang of this daddy thing. And we've only had two brief spats.
Of course, we'll have (hopefully) a lifetime more of the wonderful, the good, the boring, the bad and the ugly, but that's what it is all about.
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