Yesterday was a good day....

Well, we are almost two thirds of the way through this journey. Things are really picking up. We worked with our guide/interpreter to set up some better rewards and....PUNISHMENT! What a tremendous improvement. It is still very difficult not being able to fully converse, but it is light years better. Who would have guessed, standing in the corner is VERY Upsetting to them. Apparently at the orphanage this is the method commonly used.

A few battles with the little guy but he has been able to go swimming the last few days. Today Emilia got a pretty good dog paddle down, but it is amazing how fast then can go down. I have to keep a very close eye. They always pop up 3 times, right? Once she got a little dog paddling down she didn't want to wear the arm floats. But then later she put them back on. It is good fun, but I am glad the next hotel may not have a pool.

We went to the zoo yesterday and that was a good day. The middle guy wanted to choose where to walk and was getting a little upiddy, but then the lion roared at us and Tato's way was OK! There is a pretty good picture attached.

So things are improving, I can't imagine the battles we are going to have at home over the next bunch of years, but laughter is really nice too. I am coming around some.....

Wish me luck, Wrotzwa is a really nice town compared to Bailystok!

notes from Beth on Sun 10/28/07

just got back from the pool where Dad, Michal, Maciej and Emilia have been swimming. I'm so glad I was firm about finding a hotel with a pool. The travel agency we were advised to work with usually tries to find apartments, but with university in session there wasn't anything available.

I think we are getting the hang of this and with Lech, our guide, translator and driver, we have come a long way. At first I wanted to establish authority from Tim and I, but that was only mildly succesful and would have been a long haul with the language barrier - just too many opportunities for confusion.

So we've had Lech over in the evening to review our activities, and behavior from the day in Polish. He's very commanding and has no difficulty making one of the children act from one word without crying, tantrum or whining.

more later - the boys are ready to get out of the pool.

new log entry from Tim 10/28

Right now we are trying to schedule 2 big activities in the morning. It has been wet and cold the last few days, so walks in the morning have been minimal. We have a pool at the hotel, so we have been hitting this for a couple hours in the late morning. Then sit for lunch and another large activity involving walking. Crafts and videos fill the time. I like to try to plan the day, but my wife is more of one to shoot from the hip. This is a crazy marathon for the parents.

Well it is Sunday of the second week. We head back to Bailystok tomorrow and we are looking forward to another change of scenery. We stay in the Orphanage apartment for Mon & tues and then in a hotel for the rest of the week. Next week we get to drop the kids off.

The kids are being much better. They are playing well together and listening much better. Yesterday was the first day that was almost completely enjoyable. We went to the zoo and this was a good activity for about four hours. The zoo is nice and requires lots of walking. The kids found the animals to be very interesting were generally well behaved with minimal fighting. We could tell they were tired because they didn’t want to play on the park equipment, so we had a movie night. It worked out well. We had the kids in bed and lights out by 9:00 but then we played so more video, I think that was bad. We should have left them to drift off.

Hind sight is 20:20 and now it is time for breakfast!! Got to go….

yet another log entry from Tim

Well, it is Thursday of the second week now and this is still very difficult, although I am now enjoying more of our interaction. We were quite hesitant to involve Lech to translate, but I have found this to be a very useful tool in training the children and we have been having him over more often. It is especially helpful with the little one since he tends to shut down when stressed. The kids have also been going to bed much better. We got an extra roll-away cot and Emelia thinks it is pretty neat to sleep on it. The boys are on a pull out couch and now Mom and Dad can sleep together. It is working out pretty well. I guess this is a good thing about the older kids, once they do go to sleep they sleep pretty well.

I wish I could speak Polish! I can’t wait to know more of their thoughts. I can’t stress enough to allow Lech to assist you in setting up punishment and reward systems with the children. It was so helpful for us. We really changed our position with the children in just a few days. My wife was trying very diligently and wanted to keep trying, but was very thankful for the added perspective.

The tough part now is keeping them on a somewhat even keel and trying to find enough to do. Wroclaw is a beautiful city, but the kids are no more interested in cathedrals than in the art museum. We found this out the hard way today. But it was a pretty good walk anyway. I am looking forward to the zoo tomorrow, I hope this will hold their attention for an extended period. Then we have two more days and we can head back to Bialystok for the home stretch. I am enjoying the kids, but it is particularly hard on me when we have a falling out after a good time. I want to get on with things.

log entry from Tim

Good Morning, It is 3:00 am on Wednesday, I am finding a moment to write a little bit because the fire alarm in our Hotel just went off. Fortunately they were able to tell us, in ENGLISH, that they had found the false alarm and were getting it shut off. Well done DAD, no one else moved, so it wasn’t too bad. Hindsight being 20:20, I guess this is one reason to stay in one of the nice Hotels that cater to business, they seem to always have someone on duty who speaks English. We got the hotel though my wife’s last minute searching after the recommended travel agency left us hanging, and I was very disappointed by the price, but it is a great sized room for the three kids, we can separate them when necessary and it has a kitchenette. It is the Qubus in downtown Wroclaw (Old Town).

The kids are stabilizing a bit which is nice and some activities are getting easier, but they are certainly learning where there is latitude. Maciej is feeling better from his head cold/runny nose and is getting a little more antagonistic with the others and a little less responsive to requests for his attention. Michal is being really good, but tends to punctuate most good times with a tantrum because he doesn’t want to leave. We will have to work on that, but sometimes it is kind of funny, since he doesn’t know what we are saying either, Bethie will just look at him and tell him to get it out. And we will let him cry for a little while. Emilia is the best eater followed by Macciej, whom the orphanage ladies said would be the problem one. It is tough to find things the little guy will eat. For snacks they are definitely fans of fruit and yogurt. Although contrary to many reports we had, they aren’t especially fond of veggies.

They were very good last night which was a great wonder. I think it was mainly that I was so tired I was able to fall asleep with some of their talking.

another early entry from Tim

It is Saturday morning and I haven’t had a chance to catch up. Things are very hectic trying to keep their minds occupied, especially the little one. The park is a very good thing, and coloring is also very good. Videos are working to help fill a little gap and I recommend that you mix Polish and American language videos. Don’t be afraid of videos, they are a good recreation and you don’t want to play too hard too much or they will be over tired and bedtime will be a real hassle. Trust me on this one. We had a great day at the Pladzaba (playground) and I had a blast with the kids, but it was a grumpy night and that was really hard on me.

They children are starting to relax and this is a mixed blessing, they are good with their rules, but less worried about impressions, they pick on each other a lot more when they are tired now. You can see how close they are when they snuggle at night, laugh and play, and they are chatty as can be. This is only a problem at bedtime. We have tried moving them around, but we haven’t found a working situation yet. Emilla likes to sleep in the little room with her momma, so when we tried to put Michal in there by himself to curtail his talking they were both upset. The closest I have gotten so far is putting up with Michal’s temper tantrum when I move him out of Maciej’s bed and then laying down between the two when we let him get back in for about a half hour.

Did I mention they are also waking up earlier??? That is too bad. There are plenty of good simple activities like walking to the park, etc. but it is hard to balance their energy levels between too tired and too much without being able to talk to them. I don’t really think that our guides understand this because the children know who they are (authority figure of some kind) and behave at the top of their game with them. No tantrums when Lech is around. He has a great style with the kids and I try to observe, however, it just doesn’t cut it only knowing a few words of Polish. Try to keep a one page list in your pocket for quick reference.

I try to ask them to tell me what things are in Polish to as this can be a good activity.

early log entry from Tim

We came to Poland with full hopes and expectations of meeting wonderful children that our hearts were set on. And they were there: Emillia is a beautiful little girl who wants a Mommy, Maciej is a caring and fun little guy who loves family, and Michal is a wonderful little boy who is curious and bold.

We also came knowing it would be a trying period, and this it was. We knew our language barrier was going to be hard since neither of us spoke Polish, but we practiced a lot of basic phrases. Our Polish friends tried to teach us some polish too, and we should have spent more time on BASIC conversation. They were trying to teach us tenses, etc. which is not overly helpful right now. Our recommendation: concentrate on simple conversation, it will be the most helpful and you will be amazed at what you will not remember when you are stressed. Speak English with the children when ever possible, it is not to early to get their vocabulary expanding and it would not surprise me if theirs are expanding faster than ours.

We expected to have difficulty with the children, but were reassured the children wanted families and would strive to be extra good and extra helpful. This is not the case for us! Understand they are WONDERFUL!!! But they are children first and foremost and other than speaking Polish, you would struggle to tell them from an American 9, 8, and 6 year old. Their attention span can be short, they have their own free wills and are very quick to exercise them. Some of the other stories I had heard were that the kids would be very shy when removed from the routine of the orphanage. Not so with ours, they are rambunctious and right out of the gate. So take it slow and don’t expect miracles right out of the gate. Don’t be shy about stating your opinion. We got the children full time after 10 minutes of instruction and it is wonderful and stressful. We are/were jetlagged and really could have used a “routine” for a couple days. It appears to me that we are far more stressed with the change in routine than the kids, with the possible exception of the little one who probably needed a more gradual transition from his routine. They all could have used a more gradual change.

We are using a system of rules: Look us in the eyes when we call your name, come when called, say please and thank you, and hold hands when asked. The first day we thought holding hands might be the most important, but they can run a little more than that, just watch more closely in the busy places. I think Beth and I wanted to hold their hands more than anything.

Well, it is 7:30 and I better shower as things will be getting hectic pretty soon. This is the start of day 4 so I don’t know when I will be able to write again, but you may notice a change as they get me better trained!!!

post from Poland 2 (jumping storyline)

Now you are catching me at the pool. Tata (dad) is in the water with the kids at it is helping the kids work off some energy so we’ll have a good rest tonight. I’m looking on from the universal weight machine.


The ride from Bialystok was pretty good. I was getting my miles and km reversed. First I thought we’d be in the van for 10 hours, but it was about 7 including lunch, potty stops and gas. The countryside is very similar to Wisconsin – generally flat, similar climate but smaller farms.

Wroclaw is gorgeous – just a gem. We’re right in the center of old town where the main square is referred to as the Rynek (rin-eck). It is exactly what you think of when you think of old style Europe in regards to Polish/German urban architecture and streets. The area has all cobble stone streets and bringing it to the modern age is the light rail. I haven’t been able to tell if there is housing here or if most people live beyond the tightly-knit set of streets of old town.

So some news about us and the kids. In the apartment in Bialystok we had a general routine of getting up when the kids woke. Tim was in one room with the boys and Emilia and I were in the smaller room.

After drowsily waking, we’d gather in the kichenette for a little breakfast ranging from yogurt, fruit, cereal, and bread with jam – jam and bread (sound of music sidetrack caused by the architechure if Wroclaw, though I’ve never been to Salzburg.)

Then we’d work on getting everyone dressed and teeth brushed. Depending on our plans for the day, we might have a little time for coloring at the kitchenette table just so we wouldn’t get too wound up and picking on our siblings while we waited for our guide to pick us up.

On the first day with the kids, Lech our guide, took us to town. We had lunch – the kids had chicken kebab and rice, mom had a hamburger with sweet pickles. We wandered up and down the main street to check it out. Bialystok is about 200,000 people if I’m getting this right. We looked for a prepaid cell phone and window shopped.
Lech dropped us off at the park between town and the adoption center, which we observed, is the location for older kids/pre-teen and maybe teens in orphanage care.

We wandered around the small zoo, and Emilia took photos of every yak, deer, pigeon, bison, swan, pony, donkey, and badger in the place. Around the corner there is a little play area with forts and a cool thing we didn’t have as kids – a seat attached to a pulley hanging on high tension wire. The kids jump on and fly for about fifty feet. Great fun for everybody especially mom. Companies should have them in their office lunchrooms to blow off steam and have a little thrill in the middle of the day.

Lech picked us up to go back into town to find a cake shop. We were privileged to meet the children on Michal’s sixth birthday.

We’re getting out of the pool now – more later

Notes from Poland 1

Hello everyone - what a trip this has been. I barely remember how to use a computer anymore. We spent our first night in warsaw to recover from the flight and get rested for the journey ahead. On 16 Oct we drove to Bialystok with our driver/guide. We had a short meeting with our attorney for prep. We went to the 'adoption center' which is situated on wooded acres on the edge of town. We were ushered to a room and met Emilia 9, Maciej 7, and Michal 6. There were some staff present and were able to ask questions and talk back and forth.

We were asked to take the kids immediately home! Just kidding! we went into a room down the hall and played with the kids for about ten minutes and we were asked it we were interested in proceding.

So we stayed in that room which is an efficiency apartment for five days with the kids for five days. We were mostly left on our own to get them to eat, sleep, shower, and do our daily activites. There were staff down the hall, but most spoke no english ( and our Polish so limited.)

Our guide, Lech, took us into town, and the mall/grocery. There is a super park 1 mile away that worked well to burn off the kids' energy and nervous excitement.

Emilia is very bright and knows a few words of English. She has been able to help me figure our things like the word for pharmacy - apteka. She is very beautiful, just as the photos, and smart as a whip. She is used to being mom to the boys, but loves to hug and cuddle. She is enjoying, letting me baby her but her habit of being mom is still engrained, of course.

Maciej is also very bright and a charmer. He's very verbal and usually the one telling stories when we have them coloring or another activity. Of course we don't understand him, but we know when he is getting antagonistic and stirring the pot. He is usually an interested observer but will get in the fray when he feels like it.

Michal is difficult to gauge so far. He has pretty thick armor. Even the staff said he is small for his age, so he is making sure he gets his piece of the action. He is a diamond in the rough. He's really a cutie.

Tim is hanging in there with me. I don't know how I know what to do with them, but it is coming naturally, while I'm getting to know their trigger points. Tim says 'I'm not equipped for this'. Also I told him that he doesn't have the hormones that makes this work and I mean work, to be as second nature. He has been super, when I ask him for something and taking my suggestions on how to handle things. He is out of his element, but is working so hard because as he says he loves me.

I'm doing pretty well. The kids have slept through the night every night, so I'm fairly well rested. When they are coloring or otherwise occupied, I can have a moment to catch a breath.

we're in Wroclaw now, in a killer suite. It is too fancy, but has what we need, in-room internet access, kitchenette, two baths and a pool. We'll explore the city a bit today since it is right outside our hotel door.

pass the word on to anyone you know will be interested. We haven't had internet access until now, and I need to catch up.

love to everyone and more news when I have a chance
Beth

notes from Poland

Hello all. We haven't had much access or time to check email. We've had the kids with us since Monday the fifteenth, nonstop.

We'll post when we can and will be happy to hear from you.
Beth and Tim Wattleworth